So lately, I've been wanting to let my congregation sing "Glorious Things of Thee Are Spoken" because I love the tune, Austrian Hymn. And I'm pretty sure at least one other person in my congregation has told me they love that tune. And it's the only hymn in our hymnal that uses that tune (which seems a little weird).
But the more I look at it, the more the words bug me, and I can't find any good excuse to overlook them. So I decided I should write my own hymn. This was only about last week, mind you. It seemed, tune-wise, like it should be an Easter hymn, but I sort of figured it was a bit late for that, what with Easter already being upon us. So I thought maybe I'd write a Pentecost hymn.
But this morning, the tune was in my dream, played on a doorbell, and when I woke up, I just dove right in and wrote an Easter hymn anyway.
I am very aware that this is the product of a mind that just woke up, so please help me edit. Make suggestions about word choice; let me know if the verses' styles are too disparate. I will try very hard to be open to your comments. And if you'd like to use it, feel free; just make sure you include my name somewhere in some fine print.
Jesus Christ, our friend and teacher,
crucified upon a cross.
Such a scandal, such a mystery,
God has suffered deepest loss.
In our pain and thick confusion,
do we see that God is there?
Jesus knows our every burden;
Pray we keep our hearts aware.
When the women came to grieve him,
lo, the stone was rolled away.
Tomb was empty, linens folded;
T'was the dawn of Easter Day.
In their hearts a transformation:
grief was slowly turned to joy.
Resurrection love had triumphed;
death's dread powers had been destroyed.
Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior,
present in the breaking bread,
to a world in need of servants,
sends us out and goes ahead.
"Do not fear, for I am with you,"
is the promise evermore.
"You will see me when you offer
care to strangers and feed the poor."
It's still a little rough, so I covet your poetic critique. Thanks.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I’m impressed with your poetry!
I especially like the line, "Tomb was empty, linens folded; t’was the dawn of Easter day."
How great that it uses semi-colons, too.
To my mind, there are just two teensy awkward bits:
Pray we keep our hearts aware - the last line of the first verse - is strangely worded and took me a few reads to understand.
And in the second verse - “In their hearts a transformation” - seems like it’s missing a syllable for the music.
Hope you're well.
I like it. What's the tune you want to set it to? Austrian Hymn? It seems like there's another tune that goes with it, but I am not much help in the music department.
I have just made a new ending to the first verse of this hymn.
The first four lines are the same. The last four lines go:
When our hearts ache, souls are weary,
do we feel the arms of God?
Jesus knows our pain and weeping,
who the path of sorrow trod.
Post a Comment