Haikus of Ending and Beginning

When June is so hot,
what to expect from July?
More hot, more humid.

Official summer
Pool is open, grass browning.
Yet school is so close.

Middle of the year.
Where all have you been lately?
Where will you be next?

In non-profit land
It's New Year's Eve for money
How much did you give?

Oh, Canada (Day)
Do these Americans know
your significance?

Ten on Tuesday

1. I really don't feel like going to walk this morning, but I think I'm going to anyway. Just as soon as I finish this post. Really.

2. 150 years is a long time to spend in prison. I haven't followed the Bernie Madoff scandal very closely, but you don't really need to have read much more than the headlines to get it. Still, 150 years as a sentence is fascinating to me. It seems to reach back to a sort of primal, superstitious form of punishment to sentence someone to more years than they're going to live. There's something weird and mysterious about that. Mysterious in the sense that I don't think we always realize why we do what we do as a society.

3. Who would have guessed that by the time there was any sort of withdrawal from Iraq that there would be so much going on that we'd hardly even notice?

4. The newish pastor of Riverside church has resigned. From the coverage I'd seen, I'm not sure this is a bad thing, except for all the sense in which it's always a bad thing when a pastor has to resign. I hope and pray they can get themselves back together. He's right that the world need a vibrant Riverside.

5. I am beginning to get the feeling that President Zelaya of Honduras is probably not going to get to return to office. When we have such strong ties to the Honduran military, it's hard to believe that we really did everything we could to avoid this coup. The big test will be whether they really have the election that was already scheduled for this fall. Interesting note in that article about President Zelaya annoying Hillary Clinton by summoning her late at night to come shake hands with his extended family; I can see how that would be annoying.

6. I think the heat here in the Heart of Dixie has finally broken a little bit. It was only 63 when I got on the computer just now. We had a big storm Sunday afternoon that hopefully shifted that a little. In fact, our power was out for 4 hours or so. It was weird to have a Sunday afternoon with no facebook. Not sure that's a good sign!

7. We're going on vacation this weekend! That is exciting. We will be staying with friends in another city not so very far away. Will enjoy fireworks and music on Saturday, and not do a whole lot else besides hanging out, I'm guessing. I'm looking forward to it. But you may not see a whole lot going on here from Thursday through Monday.

8. I took care of some domestic detailed tasks yesterday that I'd been putting off for a couple months. It wasn't nearly as painful as I'd been imagining. I was going to say, "Isn't that always the way it works?" but quite frankly, sometimes those sorts of things (calling insurance and credit companies) are worse than you imagine. I just got lucky.

9. There's that luck thing again. What I didn't say earlier was that I know people here in the Heart of Dixie who go out of their way not to use the word "luck." As in, they will only attend a Covered Dish Luncheon, not a pot-luck. I had one church member tell me that she has colleagues who say you shouldn't use the word "luck" because it starts with the same letters as Lucifer! People are weird. I wonder if they say "Hello"?

10. I've got two books that I'm supposedly reading right now, and I don't feel like taking either one of them on my vacation. I hate it when I get into a book and don't really like it. I feel a pretty strong obligation to finish things, but I really do not enjoy reading things that annoy me or feel like a waste of time. I might go get something from the library though and leave these two at home.

The Difficulty of Thanking God

I've been having some trouble lately.

I've been using a new prayer form as of late, the PenteCOST prayer. I think I've described this before, but in case not, here's how it works: For the first five letters of the word, you focus on five things to
P(ente)raise God for, then you
Confess, then you pray for
Others, then for your
Self, and then you finish with
Thanksgiving.

What's been complicated has been making a distinction between Praise and Thanksgiving. I'm not even sure why I want to make one, but I do. And what I've come up with is that the Praise section should take me out beyond myself. Praise should involve praising God for things directly about God, not just things that are nice in my own life. Things like the beauty of creation and the grace that makes all human interactions more bearable than they would be otherwise. The Thanksgiving section then, can be more about personal blessings, like my wonderful congregation or the house that I love living in.

The problem I'm having lately is with the personal blessing thing. I read fairly frequently about people talking about how blessed they are. They have a great life, a great spouse, a great job, great kids, great opportunities, etc. And that's great for them.

But how does God work into that? It's hard for me to work out how God specifically blessed them with all those great things, when other people's lives are so crappy.

Part of the problem here is that I've never quite worked out how I relate God's work in the world with the idea of luck. I'm a pretty firm believer in luck, and I'm not even sure I know what I mean when I say that. It's not that I believe in Luck as a force in the world. It's more that it seems like a very good description of the way the world works. Some people have good luck, as evidenced by good things happening to them. Some people have bad luck, as evidenced by bad things happening to them. Some people's luck changes. I don't really connect with the idea of luck as a superstition so much, as an assessment of the reality that life is not fair.

And quite frankly, when people start to list all their blessings, knowing as I do that a lot of other people have not received those blessings, the whole thing starts to bump into my conception of luck. And it seems a little weird to thank God for good luck. It's almost like the prayer of the Pharisee "I thank thee, God, that I am not like other men..."

On the other hand, I do believe that cultivating a spirit of gratitude for everything in life is an important spiritual goal. So being grateful to God for whatever good thing, big or small, makes sense for that reason. Maybe it's the public nature of it that is really what bothers me. Thanking God for everything, big, little, random or worked-hard-for, in private is one thing. Listing those blessings out loud seems more like showing off.

Anyway, I am still thanking God. I just try to be careful about it, and not say things I don't mean. And some day, maybe God will explain the luck thing to me.

It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing!

That's not actually the song I want to talk about, but it did come on right after the one I do want to talk about and it kind of sums up my point, I think.

I was in the car, driving to the dairy, when Peggy Lee's "Is That All There Is?" came up on the mixed cd my husband had in the car stereo.

In case you're not familiar with the song, it includes some fairly bizarre speaking sections where she mentions various events in her life -- childhood home burning down, going to the circus, finding and then losing love -- and then notes how umimpressed she was by them.

The refrain is her response to each of these events: "Is that all there is? If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing. Let's break out the booze and have a ball. If that's all there is."

The song ends with her addressing her listeners saying that she imagines they're wondering why she doesn't just kill herself if she's so unsatisfied, but that she's not ready for that "final disappointment." And then the refrain again.

I have no idea how popular this song ever was. (If someone wants to research that and post it in the comments, go for it!) But I think it's relatively well known.

I like the song. I think. I like to sing it, I know that. But the overall sentiment bugs me. A house burning down is a big deal. The circus is cool. The ectasy and pain of love are real, important, deep human experiences. Does she really not have any ability to care about things, or is she just trying to be uber-cool?

I think most people probably don't connect with the seeming callous detachment of this song. I think a lot of people would find it as distressing as I do. And yet, we enjoy the song. Why? I think the key lies in the refrain. Even though we're not impressed with what life has to offer, we can still dance and have a good time. If she likes to dance, she can't be all that bad, even if she does have an annoying habit of pretending that life isn't affecting her.

And I'm calling her bluff. I don't believe her. I think she does care, but she's just trying to deaden the pain by pretending she doesn't. Which is probably another reason people appreciate the song, because we've all been there once or twice.

I Do Not Like Coups

Okay, so it's seeming like the president of Honduras is not exactly a stand-up leftist democracy-loving good guy. But he is a leftist and he is the elected leader of his country. You can say all you want to about his under-handed attempted power-grabs.

BUT MILITARY COUPS ARE NOT OKAY! It is not okay for the military to come in with guns and send the president out of the country. That is not a solution to the problem. See article in NYT here.

I wish that the new generation of Latin American leftist leaders weren't so autocratic. They are not helping things by behaving that way. But we can't let that cloud the issues too much.

The general that led this coup is a graduate of the former School of the Americas (now called something more innocuous in an attempt to pretend the curriculum has changed). Which means that in a sense, all American tax-payers have culpability for what happened this morning.

Dead People

So it appears to be a bad week for famous people. First Ed McMahon and that doctor from Antarctica. Now Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.

I don't have a lot to say about this really. I don't have much emotional connection to any of these people or their work. (Growing up in a pop culture vaccuum will do that for you! Thanks, Mom!)

But it did occur to me that as the year goes along, it's useful for me to keep track of famous people that die because at the end of October, I have to put together a litany for our All Saints Day Memorial service. I usually include notable public figures who have passed in the last year. People like Coretta Scott King and Mother Teresa and Studs Terkel.

But as I thought about it, I don't think anyone from this week is going to make that list. God will welcome everyone home, but for these folks as for most of us, our legacy is too ambiguous to evoke pious gratitude by mere mention of our name. Oh well.

And Sometimes...

a walk is just a walk.

For some reason, when I walk early in the morning, prayer is not really what happens. At least, not focused prayer. Sometimes it's just good to have some time for your brain to wander wherever it wants. Or even just to focus on the "mindless" task at hand. Could there be a spiritual discipline that is the opposite of mindfulness?

In the mornings, at the gym where I walk (which is really a Baptist Community Life Center -- Thanks, Baptists!), there is a low-impact aerobics class going on in the gym below the walking track. Surprisingly, though, the music used for low-impact aerobics is just as hyper as normal aerobics music.

Which actually was fine. It isn't all that conducive to prayer, but it helped me keep my pace up, and I got my three miles done in 40 minutes, which is less than a lap a minute.

Multi-Layered Prayer

So my walking buddy is out of town, all week except Sundays, for the next three weeks. This is rather risky for my health plan.

But so far, I've been doing okay. I discovered a month ago or so that the walking track can be a good place to pray. Sometimes I give each lap over to praying for a different person.

But yesterday, I tried something else. And discovered some interesting things about the way my brain works in prayer.

There is a three-line prayer that I use sometimes that comes from one of my favorite books, "The Scent of Water" by Elizabeth Goudge. It goes, "Lord, have mercy. Thee I adore. Into Thy hands."

I use this prayer sometimes with beads. On each bead, I will inhale as a preparation breath, exhale with "Lord, have mercy", inhale with "Thee I adore", and then exhale with "Into Thy hands."

I decided to try this prayer when I was walking yesterday. But I was clearly breathing too fast to use it the way I do it with the beads. So instead, I gave each side of the track a different line, including the silent preparation section to make four. And I repeated each line over and over, in rhythm with my steps, along each side of the track. It helps that they each have four syllables.

It worked well, but what I discovered is that with such simple, repetitive lines, my brain needed more to keep focused. So instead of simply thinking about the words I was saying in my brain, I was visualizing what I meant by them on each lap. I spent some time focusing the prayer on my church and my ministry. And some laps were focused on the state of the world, refugees, people living under oppression, etc. And some laps were focused on my family.

It was like music. There was a melody line, the repeated lines, that grounded the prayer. And then there were the more wandering harmonies that made more explicit what it was I was putting before God. It was a very satisfying prayer experience, which I think means, for me, that I was able to stay pretty darn focused for the whole 45 minutes. My only trip-ups were when I stopped to congratulate myself on my pace. Shocking that self-congratulation would be a distraction from prayer, eh?

I think there are probably many people who need prayer to be happening at multiple levels at once in order to hold their attention. Luther said that "those who sing, pray twice." Perhaps those who exercise and pray do as well.

Coincidence?

So there's this cop show that my husband got really into a while ago. And then he got me into it. (Now remember, we don't have an antenna or cable, but as it turns out, you can now stream a lot of stuff from the internet and it's almost like having tv. There just aren't any commercials. So sad.)

In this particular cop show, there are a few different varieties. We started with the original, spent a lot of time on one variation, and then recently moved on to a third variation. They are all good, although variation number two had a detective who bugged me. He crossed lines too often and was a psychological bully, in my opinion.

Early on, though, with variation number three, I started noticing that I seemed to be sharing a wavelength with the writers. As soon as someone would appear, I would know they were the guilty party, even though that wasn't revealed till much later in the show. There would be little things that wouldn't seem like clues, but I would know they were. And I was always right. (Okay, it's possible I'm forgetting a couple times when I was wrong, but mostly I was right.)

It was weird. I'm not usually able to predict shows like that. But it was like this one and I had a special bond.

Then, I started noticing something in the credits. This name kept coming up that I recognized. After a little research I discovered that a woman I know from college worked on the show, as a story editor. She was a senior when I was a first year, but I did a feature story on her as one of my first articles for the PR office where I had a student job. She had done a summer internship with Siskel and Ebert. (I think they were both still alive, but maybe not. Not sure.) She seemed very glamorous to me.

Which she obviously is, because now she's working in Hollywood. But does our shared alma mater explain my special connection to the plotline of this show? Hmmmm... 'Twould be hard to prove, but I'm going with "sort of, maybe."

Stolen Funnies

I'm totally stealing this from someone else I don't even know, but I think he got it as an uncredited email to begin with, so I don't feel so bad.

Top 10 Reasons Why Men Shouldn't Be Ordained:

10. A man's place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.

8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be "unnatural" for them to do other forms of work.

7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.

5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.

4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, change the oil in the church vans, and maybe even lead the singing on Father's Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.

Assistance Needed

Dear readers,

I want to make a confession. There are many things I do not know how to do on this blog, that I'm not planning to learn. I have a blog because I like to write and share little thoughts once in a while, not because I like to read through complicated directions and mess around with cables and plugs and things.

For instance, I don't post pictures on my blog. I enjoy blogs with pictures, but it's hard to stay "anonymous" once you start posting pictures. More importantly, I don't really know how to post them. I can barely remember how to get them off the camera and onto my computer!

Also, I have no idea where to look to see how many people are reading my blog. Is there somewhere to do that? I don't know. And here's the thing__I'd rather have you just tell me anyway!

The truth is that it's been a little lonely around here, so I'm making a pathetic attempt to increase the number of comments I get here.

So can we take attendance? You don't have to share your name, but write a comment, maybe include your location if you don't want to include your name, something like that. You could even share a joke if you like! Really, just let me know that you're out there.

Ten on Tuesday

1. I want a tomato cam. The guy who takes charge of the flower bed at church decided to plant tomatoes there. He's put in 12 plants and erected a sign that says, "Hungry? Pick 1 or 2. Eat and Enjoy. I made them for you. Yours Truly God." Or something like that. I just think it would be cool to be able to track growth and consumption on our website.

2. I really, really, really want to add a comma to the sign between the words "Truly" and "God". The only reason I haven't yet, I think, is because it's been SO HOT.

3. The governor of South Carolina is missing. Or he's not. It's not very clear. Is he hiking? It does seem to me that if his wife hadn't been told what was up, she'd be concerned. The whole thing raises interesting questions about what is required for certain positions. Does he have to be physically available? Is that a legal requirement? Did something push him over a weird edge that made him run-off? How is he planning to finesse his re-appearance? My guess is that if they'd thought of that last question, they wouldn't have handled it this way in the first place.

4. I do not like classic rock songs with really long guitar riffs. I don't even really like the word "riff". It sounds like it's trying too hard.

5. Sometimes I need to eat vegetables. I blame my parents for the ways in which my body takes care of itself, like rejecting sugar cereal as a good thing and craving vegetables on a fairly regular basis.

6. On the other hand, I have an unusually strong penchant for having a box of kleenex in every possible room, which is a great example of unintended reverse psychology on their part. No, toilet paper is not just as good for blowing your nose.

7. Today was one of those days when I had to get a lot done, and I did, just not the right stuff. It was full almost every moment, and I barely got the newsletter started, which means tomorrow is going to be a very long day.

8. I got one of the most wonderful compliments ever last week, from someone I respect deeply. When I was laughingly admitting that I know I talk a lot in group settings, she assured me that it was because I have a lot to say and that she's never seen me cross that line (the one where you're just talking and not saying anything). That meant more to me than she'll probably ever know. Unless she reads this blog, which I doubt. If so, THANKS!

9. Did I mention that it's super HOT here? I haven't seen my hummingbird for a couple weeks, and I'm wondering if that might be why. That, and the fact that his juice went too long without being replaced because I was out of town. Does anyone know about hummingbirds and temperature?

10. I had a marvelous anniversary (6 years Sunday) dinner last Friday at a restaurant we'd never been to before. It started with a double shot of juice made from Granny Smith apples, ginger and celery. It was super tasty. I would like some more, please.

Yay, Nine-Spined Stickleback!

A nice little note about a little fish that is testing off the charts in intelligence. Kinda makes you wonder what else we've been erroneously assuming about the rest of the world.

Bonus: A new tongue twister: Say "nine-spined stickleback" seven times fast.

Warning to Poultrytarians

I know some of you out there are vegetarians, but I'm not sure if any of you are the sort that eat chicken but not beef.

But just in case... This just in from Mother Jones. The new grilled chicken at KFC is flavored with... BEEF! Actually, with beef powder.

Is that not completely weird? Or maybe it isn't. I don't know. But it is one little indication about why we, unfortunately, can't trust much of the food production in this country to tell us what we might want to know.

The Church Needs More Dance Parties

Today in church, I was thinking about fear. For the most part, I think of myself as a courageous person. I don't really have phobias, in what I would call a psychological sense. I'm not afraid of heights or flying or speaking in public or mice or spiders or the dark or even crime actually. I startle easily, but I'm not sure that's the same as fear. I don't do well with blood or with having my head under water, but that's honestly more of a physical reaction than a mental fear.

And then, in a moment of deeper honesty, I realized that there is one thing that I do fear, at least, if my behavior is any indication. (I think it's probably safe to assume it is.) I don't always like to admit it, but it's a pretty safe bet that I fear losing control. (And yes, I know that control is an illusion, but a lot of the time in my life it's a pretty complete and satisfying illusion, so that's not my point at the moment. Though the startling easily thing is probably related to this somehow.)

My congregation would back me up on this, as would my entire family and any of my friends who actually know me very well. I like for things to be done the way I think they should be done, and I like for the things being done to be the things I want done. So much so that I scolded my husband the other day for scraping the cat's dish with the wrong utensil. (WTF?!?)

I've been wanting recently to blog about the spirituality of dancing. And I don't mean "chancel prancing", as a former mentor used to call liturgical dance. I mean serious, fast-moving, actual heavy-breathing-inducing partner dancing -- salsa, merengue, swing, lindy hop, cha cha, whatever. I love it, and I know it does something to restore my spirit. I haven't written that blog yet because I wasn't sure how to describe it.

But I might have figured it out this morning. Because as I was contemplating my fear of being out of control, it occurred to me that when I'm dancing -- usually with nameless men I've barely met in cities out of town -- I am totally comfortable with, and even excited about, having handed control over to someone else. When I dance, I am the follower. I don't have to know what I'm doing, and I don't have to make decisions. I love following a strong leader when I'm dancing, someone who will clearly push and pull and twirl me wherever I am supposed to go to make the dance work. You're taking your chances with each partner as to whether he'll be any good or not, but no song lasts all that long if he's not and then you can find someone else. But most of the places I've ever danced, there are only a few duds. So most of the time, it's wonderful.

Is it weird that I love that? Or does it make it less surprising that it's so redemptive for me? I think there is something healing about rhythm, which may have something to do with it too. But I think there's something to be said for not having to think too hard and yet be physically involved in creating something so powerful.

Last week, I was at an intense meeting about the State of the Congregation. At one point, I muttered to our church's head honcho, who happened to be sitting at my table, that the church needed more dance parties. She laughingly agreed. I was kidding, of course. Sort of. Because sort of I wasn't. I think it would be good for us. Dance parties, drum circles, whatever sort of thing that gives leaders a chance to follow and yet be part of creating something gorgeous with their bodies. 'Cause I don't think I'm the only one in the church who fears losing hold of the reins.

When He's Right, He's Right

I am increasingly disgusted by the Democrats in Washington and the caving to their fear that Obama has been doing. How can they be so out of touch with the country's needs? Whom can we elect instead?

Bill Maher frequently crosses the line, in my opinion, but he's right on in this one. Really, you should watch it. If you consider yourself a progressive, that is. Even if you don't usually click on links, you should watch this one. (Yeah, Mom, I'm talking to you!)

And yes, we do need that party. Too bad it's only our comedians that are saying so.

P.S. The NYT reports on an interesting poll that indicates that a lot of people would support this party Maher's suggesting we need.

The Dried Fruit Marketing Battles

Advertising is weird. There was a time in my life when I figured that if I wanted to make a lot of money, I could do so by going into advertising. I'm pretty good at rationalization, which is pretty much the basic key to advertising, as far as I can tell. Find a way to explain why what you have is better than what the other people have.

Case in point: Those of you who have followed me on facebook (and certain others) know that I eat prunes. (With a chopstick, in fact, but that is not relevant to my current point.) Prunes have had a bit of a marketing challenge. Most people when they hear the word "prune" think "old person obsessed with bowel regularity". Which is not high on most people's list of things that are hip.

So the people trying to sell prunes had a challenge. How to make it possible for non-old people who are interested in, if not obsessed with, bowel regularity to buy prunes without embarrassment. (They decided not to go with the plain, brown paper wrapping approach. Interesting?)

Thus it was that the prune became a "dried plum". That is, in fact, what a prune is, but still. It was a clear bid to change the image of the lowly prune. One brand, not yet satisfied, chose to capitalize on the proposition that small things are cute and therefore irresistible, and started selling "bite-size" dried plums. You could buy a bag of the normal ones, or you could get the bite-sized ones. As if any normal person really has trouble getting a whole, normal-sized prune in their mouth all at once.

Here's what's hilarious. I was recently out of town and didn't bring my prunes with me. So we bought some. It was a different brand than the one that sells "bite-size" prunes. And on the back of the package, in obvious if not pointed response to the idea of sorting prunes by size, it says (I swear I'm not making this up!): "Inside your (brand-name) package you will find the right size prune for each member of your family -- the way Mother Nature intended..."

Advertising is weird.

Perspective on Distance

I live basically downtown. Well, a block or two away from what qualifies as downtown in my tiny little city. And a block and a half away from where I work most of the time.

When I have to go to the mall, in the adjacent town, it's a big deal. I make sure I plan ahead so that anything else I have to do in that direction gets accomplished in the same trip, despite the fact that it's less than 7 or so miles away.

So it's kind of funny what I did here in HQ city the other day. My mom and I were here, and we were tourists. And man, did we tour.

We were staying at a hotel in the SW quadrant of the city. We went for brunch in the NE quarter. Then we went to kill some time at a conservatory in the SE section. Then we drove way up into the NW quadrant for massages. Then we went back to the hipster neighborhood in the NE for wandering around and dinner. Then back to our hotel in the SW.

It was a lot of driving. A native probably would have thought we were nuts. They would have had all sort of suggestions about ways we could have done all that in close together places.

But we went where we'd figured out to go (thanks to the purchase of an awesome map!), and it was just fine. (Ignoring the carbon cost, of course!) We saw the city, and I now, after 4-some years of coming to meetings here, finally feel like I know my way around.

Funny how your perspective can change!

I am Delighted

that we're finally starting to see sensible things written about Israel in the mainstream media, like this Jacob Weisberg article from Slate, despite the fact that there are still right-wing christian nutjobs obsessed with bringing about the end of the world by supporting (and then baptizing) Zionists.

The settlements have to be called what they really are: squatters with an exclusivist, extremist agenda.

Comfort with Conflict

Charles Blow of the NYT makes some interesting points about why this country seems not only to tolerate, but feed, crazy, violent extremists.

He cites a study that "found that although people predicted 'that they would be very upset by a racist act and would take action,' their actual reactions were 'much more muted.'"

I am convinced that one of the problems with our country and our churches is that we're far too uncomfortable with conflict. As a population, we have a tendency to avoid confrontation. We don't like to point out when people are wrong, or being selfish, or immoral. (Unless we're crazy extremists. Are we over-reacting trying not to seen as that?)

I think they ought to be teaching this in school. Heck, I ought to be teaching this in church. My congregation is supposed to be a place full of people who don't agree with one another, but do we use that as a stepping stone to becoming more comfortable talking about things we don't agree on? Not most of the time.

There are some progressive schools that teach things like conflict resolution. But that seems different that conflict management, learning to be in conflict civilly, because it's the right thing to do.

It makes me sad sometimes when I think about how robust political conflicts used to be sometimes, all those crazy cartoons and protests that you hear about from "history". Were they really less civilized than us? Or were they just more honest and comfortable claiming their own convictions and not worrying what others thought of them?

Plain and Simple -- Kristof Style

As our diseloquent former president might say, "Fool me once... you can't get fooled again."

Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times reminds Americans again that when it comes to health care reform, we have nothing to fear but fear itself.

Is it weird to blog about facebook?

Oh well. I'm going to anyway...

There is a thing that happens on facebook that makes me think that some people just don't quite get it the same way I do.

A few different times I have posed questions in my status update looking for recommendations or suggestions for finding such-and-such in a certain city. My intention is to capitalize on the knowledge of facebook friends who have lived or visited extensively in those cities and thus have more intimate knowledge of them than I do.

Frequently, I've gotten some useful advice or recommendations (like where to take my mom to eat next week for her birthday!) from people who live or lived there.

What's weird is that almost every time, other people have left comments suggesting ways I could do internet searches to find the things I'm looking for. As if I couldn't have figured that out for myself. At least once, someone who'd never been in the city in question actually looked some things up and listed them for me. Do these people not understand that when I was asking, I was particularly trying to tap into the personal knowledge and judgment of experienced people I know and trust, as opposed to trusting the ratings of random strangers responding from who-knows-what sort of perspective?

I find it very weird that people think that would be helpful.

Or maybe it's just me. I've never been fond of using reference materials if there was someone around I could just ask. And with facebook, there's always someone around you can ask, usually even someone who knows what you want to know. I think there's part of me that likes to have things pre-screened. I don't like having to take chances on unknowns I might hate, so if people I trust to like what I like prefer something, I'd just as soon know about it as choose blind.

I thought about mentioning this in my status update, but you don't want to hurt people's feelings when they're just trying to be helpful. And I do realize they were trying to be helpful. It's just that if I'm on facebook, chances are high I'm aware of how to do an internet search. The whole point of facebook is that it's a PERSONAL network of FRIENDS from AROUND the country. Shouldn't that be what it's used for?

Nostalgia (?) Haiku

I was listening to a cd from college this morning, and it reminded me of a period in my life that I'm glad is over. I was inspired to write this haiku:


Unrequited love
like a disease, saps your heart
empty of all else.


"Nostalgia" really isn't the right word to describe such a genre. There ought to be a counterpart word to nostalgia, a word to describe memories that evoke strong emotions about a time you really, really don't want to go back to.

Any suggestions? Nostalgia already starts with the word "no", so where does it leave you to go? Astalgia? Ickstalgia?

Lies of Compassion

I am a pastor. I have a phone by my bed. I also have caller id.

Sometimes people call me before I'm really awake. But I wake up easy, and depending on what's going on, I will usually check the caller id. In certain (though not most) situations, I will answer the phone. Because of the delay of checking the caller id, however, I don't really have time to test out my voice. So usually, the person can tell that I haven't been talking much yet that morning.

What do you say when someone says they hope they're not calling too early, or more directly, that they hope they didn't wake you?

I lied this morning, more or less. But here's the thing, what I would just say, if it weren't too complicated is this: If you called early and I picked up the phone, it's because I wanted to talk to you, because I'm your pastor and you're calling for a good reason. It's really okay.

Perhaps that is what my obvious lie communicates? It's clear I haven't been up for hours, declaiming. And I did pick up the phone. So if I act like it's fine, the compassion of the lie hopefully expresses that I knew your call would be important.

I give thanks that I wake up fast. If someone who was a slow waker-upper was thinking about going into congregational ministry, I might discourage them, but I'm sure there are some of them out there. I'm just glad I'm not one of them.

My Non-Ideal Shopping Trip

1. Know exactly what you want.

2. Browse through way, way, way too many options before finally concluding that what you want isn't at the only store in town that carries such things.

3. End up paying way more than you intended for something you didn't really want because you have to get something.

4. End up leaving way later than you wanted, really, really drained.

I had this kind of shopping experience tonight too, but I don't really want to talk about it.

My Ideal Shopping Trip

1. Don't go until you need something.

2. Know exactly what you need.

3. Enter store. Find correct department quickly or clerk to point out the way.

4. Peruse options briefly.

5. Find what you're looking for.

6. Try it on and find a size that fits without too much trouble.

7. Pay for purchase.

8. Leave.

I am delighted to say that this describes one of my shopping expeditions this evening. When I returned from my trip last week, I discovered (after I'd arrived at church) that the heel of one of my black, thin strappy sandals had been reduced to a nail head. I don't know if it came off when I was salsa dancing (highly possible) or if it got smashed to bits on the airplane journey because I (perhaps unwisely) stuck them in the outside pocket with the heels facing out. But it was not a good way to wear shoes, if more so for the church's floors than my own stability. So I ran home and changed shoes.

But tomorrow I have to do a wedding and it's June so I don't want to wear my winterish black dress shoes. So tonight I went to replace these shoes. Last time I was filling this slot in my shoe wardrobe (I'm pretty frugal about shoes: only one pair in each useful category), it took me forever to find something even close to what I was looking for. At the time, lowish heels were very hard to find. So I was a little worried this wouldn't work out so well.

The pair I got are not quite the same, but since I could conceivably (and might) get the heel on the old ones fixed, it's probably better that they're not the same. And the new ones have a little bow on the front. I'm a big fan of bows.

A Devotional Message I was Particularly Pleased With

Genesis 11:1-9 – Now the whole earth had one language and the same words. And as they migrated from the east, they came upon a plain in the land of Shinar and settled there. And they said to one another, ‘Come, let us make bricks, and burn them thoroughly.’ And they had brick for stone, and bitumen for mortar. Then they said, ‘Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves; otherwise we shall be scattered abroad upon the face of the earth.’ The Lord came down to see the city and the tower, which mortals had built. And the Lord said, ‘Look, they are one people, and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do; nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them. Come, let us go down, and confuse their language there, so that they will not understand one another’s speech.’ So the Lord scattered them abroad from there over the face of all the earth, and they left off building the city. Therefore it was called Babel, because there the Lord confused the language of all the earth; and from there the Lord scattered them abroad over the face of all the earth. (NRSV)

I love this story from Genesis because of how ancient it feels. Clearly, at some point, a child asked why those other people use different words from ours, and someone was pressed upon to explain. How fascinating that a tale explaining our different tongues came to include this warning about what happens when you try to become like God.

Some scholars suggest that the Pentecost story we will hear this Sunday is a reversal of this tale of the Tower of Babel. Instead of having one language confused into many, suddenly, the Holy Spirit gives the disciples the ability to speak the one gospel in many different tongues, so that everyone could understand. Jesus prayed, “that they might all be one,” and on Pentecost, it came true, if only momentarily.

There have been some reminders lately of the progress we’re making on bringing unity back to humanity. In the same week, the New York Times reported on two very different measurements. The town of Philadelphia, Mississippi, where three civil rights workers were brutally murdered in the 60s, has elected its first black mayor. All those interviewed sounded pretty proud of their city. On the other hand, Montgomery County, Georgia, is still holding segregated proms. Some students were frustrated at not being able to celebrate with their friends, but others simply placed the blame on “tradition.”

How do we explain such continuing reminders of our brokenness to our children when they ask? What do we tell them about how God sees these situations? Christ Jesus came to us, not simply to reconcile us to God, but to reconcile us to one another. What can we do to open channels for the Holy Spirit to do its unifying ministry?

Collect for the Week: God of the ages, One-in-Three and Three-in-One, who poured forth your Spirit that the gospel witness might be shared to the ends of the earth, grant that we might prepare our hearts to receive your Holy Spirit, that we might be transformed and made one in the Body of Christ. Through Jesus our Lord and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Personal Friday Five

At our church this month, we have started something called Common Daily Bible Reading. It's basically just a schedule of readings, one psalm for each week and a few verses from elsewhere (mostly NT) for each day. The idea is that we all read the same set of scriptures each day. We are going to be discussing the readings in our Sunday school class and we have an online discussion group too.

In creating this new thing, I wanted to help people have a more devotional experience with their reading, so when I made the booklet, I included some suggestions for short daily prayer practices. I listed the Lord's Prayer, the serenity prayer, the prayer of St. Francis, the doxology and the Gloria we sing in church. I mentioned journaling and specifically list prayers as a form of journaling, and lectio divina.

But I also made one up. I had asked around for a good acronym prayer guide. That's where you have a word, or at least some letters, that remind you of the different parts of prayer. Then you just move through each letter, doing each part. One common example is to use the word ACTS. You start your prayer with Adoration, then do Confession, then Thanksgiving, then Supplication.

That one is okay, except that I don't really like the order, and I find the word "supplication" to be a bit technical. Since I hoping to use this acronym prayer later this summer to teach families to pray together, technical words seemed ill-advised.

So I made my own. I invented the PenteCOST prayer. And yes, the small letters mean that it cheats a little as an acronym. The idea is that you start with Praise, and the small letters mean that you think of at least five (pente) things to praise God for. Then you have Confession. Then, instead of generic and overly technical supplication or intercession (as some acronyms suggest), you have Others and Self. Then you finish with Thanksgiving.

I have been using the PenteCOST prayer this week while doing my Common Daily Bible Reading, and I have to say, it's been working for me better than I ever would have expected.

So for a personal Friday Five (since I can't really connect with the one over at RevGals about moving), here are the five things I've praised God for most often this week.

1. The sky, sunshine, clouds.
2. The green of the gingko tree outside my prayer closet window.
3. The hummingbird that has found my feeder.
4. My congregation and especially our lay leaders.
5. My husband.

Blogging on Full Brain

There's been a lot going on in my brain lately. You might think that would lead to more blogging, but as you may have noticed, it had the opposite effect.

When there's too much going on, I seem to get pretty quiet on this blog. First of all, there isn't much time to write. But mostly, I think it has to do with the balcony effect that Ronald Heifetz writes about. When things are busy, it's hard to get up on the balcony to see the big picture and reflect on what's going on.

Which could be a good reason why a blog is good for mental health. Because, in theory, a blog forces you onto the balcony, and it's important to be up there on a regular basis, so that your life isn't just speeding along without you.

So, dear readers, while I have felt no small amount of guilt at abandoning you this week, I am not sorry about that guilt, because it's also a sign of abandoning myself, and that's not good. Guilt is useful if it prods us to action. Otherwise, not so much.

Some Tardy Articles about the Death of George Tiller

Most people don't have much of a sense of what late-term abortions are about. Once you start to learn about the situations in which they are used, it becomes obvious that these are not decisions anyone should have made for them, though they are also not decisions anyone should have to make alone. This article from Mother Jones gives a taste of what the issues really are.

Mother Jones also offers a profile from a few years ago of another late-term abortion doctor who has since passed away. It is obvious that this man was full of compassion for his patients and their difficult circumstances.

Finally, they also have some interesting information about Scott Roeder, the primary suspect in the Tiller murder. These tragedies don't come out of nowhere.

Why So Afraid of Options?

Paul Krugman has two pieces of advice for Congress when it comes to health care reform:

1) Don't trust the insurance industry.
2) Don't trust the insurance industry.

He also has a funny point about William Kristol and "cutting edge reforms".

We cannot afford to let the public health insurance option fail this time. Too many people's lives depend on it.

A Good Rule of Thumb

When in doubt, blame Reagan. It usually works for me.

Now it's working for Paul Krugman too. And he's a Nobel prize winner.

I love his line about how Reagan turning the S&L crisis from a problem into a catastrophe "has been written out of the Reagan hagiography."

This country cannot be strong unless we are rooted in truth. And at the moment, we're so deep in denial about so much of our history, it's astonishing. Dismantling the Reagan hagiography would be a great start.

Haiku to Welcome the Month

Here you are, dear June.
Arriving without warning.
What will you bring us?

Sleep and Hydration

I am wondering tonight about the connection between sleep and water. I have been traveling and getting very little sleep. Like last night, when I went to bed a little after midnight and got up at 3:30 so I could catch a 6:00 am flight home, in time to teach and preach in church this morning.

I was realizing that when I'm sleep-deprived the next best thing is to drink a ton of water. In the car, on the way home from the airport (God bless the off-site parking people who pass out free drinks as you leave!), I wondered if that is because the water helps return oxygen to my blood. But I doubt that it's quite that direct.

Lack of sleep does lead to de-hydration though, pretty directly. The weird thing is the other end of that.

I was supposed to have a meeting with the elders of my congregation about a somewhat difficult situation. I seriously considered cancelling it, because I was afraid I would cry through the whole thing. It is an emotional thing for me, but not really that much. It's just that when I'm sleep-deprived, crying is about the most natural thing for me. (Perhaps we never grow out of infancy as far as we think?) And since I didn't want them to think I am more upset than I really am, it seemed risky to have the meeting in my current state.

Since there was no other good time to do so, we went ahead with the meeting, and it was fine. Better than I expected, in fact. I only cried a little bit, near the end. And actually, though they're not really doing what I wanted (if I even knew what I wanted them to do), I'm feeling pretty fine with where we ended up for the moment.

But wouldn't you think, if my body's already de-hydrated from sleep-deprivation, that it would avoid crying, since that's just going to make it worse? I guess it really is more complicated than that.

I suppose I should do the truly prudent thing now, and go to bed! Perhaps with a glass of water.