So tonight, during prayer service, I had a brief thought about how I had been feeling a lot more like a human doing lately than a human being. I know that sounds like a cliche "I'm so busy" pastor thing to say, and it is. But I was thinking about how I keep getting distracted by my to-do list during my morning, supposed to be hanging with God time.
I try not to over think these things though, so I didn't worry about it too much.
Until later in the service, when just for a second, I caught myself sort of almost praying that I would get really sick so I could just not worry about stuff for a while. It was sort of like I was asking God to get my attention in a way that I wouldn't be distracted like I usually am, and then in imagining what that might be like, it seemed like I might have to be really ill. Somehow, that seemed like a bad sign.
Not sure what that's about, but I think it's probably a good thing that I'm going back to the Retreat center Sunday night, for the first (!) time since my sabbatical. Gotta get that back on track. Hope it helps.
Here's hoping God's keeping your attention, at least a little, without having to use plagues!
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3 comments:
Um, yeah -- don't wait for the illness to be what finally forces the stepping away from to-do lists. If there's one thing I would do differently (okay, there's LOTS) if/when I am back in parish ministry, it's the intentional retreat time. I managed it only once a year or so -- every month, at least, even just for a couple of days is essential, seems to me.
Self-inflicted plagues may be a little too ascetic. Find some peace, dear.
I'm hoping this is one of those saying-it-out-loud helps it go away kind of things. A turn is coming already, I think.
Maybe it's one of those by-the-time-you-can-name-it-it's-already-improving things.
Anyway, thanks for the support!
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